These Little Girls
by Irandrura
Summary: The day after Zuko attacks Kyoshi Island, Suki reflects and wonders what to do next. A short one-shot about an important decision for the series.


'Hey, Suki! Pay attention!'

Suki shook the cobwebs out of her head distractedly. What had she been thinking of, anyway? It didn't matter. She nodded to Ila, holding the other end of the plank, and after a moment's count, they both heaved. The Kyoshi Warriors atop the scaffolding grabbed on to the bar, and with a last shove from the girls on the ground, levered it up.

'Right, what's next?' Suki asked, dusting her hands.

'I think that's it for this one,' called out a voice from above. 'We'll finish up here; you move on to the next house.'

It had only been a day since the Fire Nation had attacked Kyoshi Island. That had been a sobering experience, for all of them. The Kyoshi Warriors were good, and Suki felt a deep pride at what they'd accomplished, but the rhinos and firebenders had gone a long towards showing their limitations. There just weren't enough of them. When she'd started teaching the group, a few voices had mocked them; just a bunch of kids playing warrior. Even after the attack, Oyaji had tried to comfort them.

'These were professional soldiers, with years of experience, and benders as well,' he'd said. 'You ought to be congratulated for holding them off as long as you did. You haven't failed. The Kyoshi Warriors fought brilliantly.'

He'd even got most of the village out to thank them. Suki had appreciated the gesture, but an inexplicable anger had welled up inside her as she did so. It was technically true, she knew. The Fire Nation soldiers were veterans, and benders would always have an advantage over non-benders. They'd even had ferocious komodo-rhino mounts. There was no shame in failing to defeat such opponents. But she couldn't shake the feeling that they should have. What had she been training the girls for anyway, if not to protect Kyoshi Island? Why did they even practice their art if they couldn't use it to defend their people? They should have done better. Furious thoughts boiled in her head as she wondered if the training had been enough. Were there techniques they could have learned that would have let them win?

She remembered attacking the leader of the invaders - from the scar, had that really been Crown Prince Zuko? - fans flashing in her hands, and the pain as his rhino had knocked her down. Stinging as the blow had been, and she could still feel the bruising, the indignation had been worse. Zuko would have killed her if it hadn't been for… well, never mind. She didn't need _that_ fogging up her mind again.

She remembered Zuko's exact words: 'Nice try, Avatar! But these little girls can't save you!'

That had added insult to injury. The Kyoshi Warriors were not just little girls playing make-believe! And yet today, rebuilding, every time she looked at the charred and soaked buildings of the village, Zuko's stab returned to mind.

'Hello? You're drifting off again.'

Suki put on a brave grin. 'I'm sorry, Ila. I'm just a little preoccupied.'

Ila frowned, obviously not buying it.

'Let's just keep working. The market stall, I think.'

She was right. The stall had yet to even be cleared, most people having prioritised their own homes first. There had been a shaded overhang, to keep the sun off and the vegetables cool, and it had collapsed rapidly under stray fire blasts. Suki and Ila hauled the canvas away, and were left staring at the splintered remains of the long bench and merchant's carts that had been there before the attack.

'I think we're going to need some help. This is worse than I thought,' Ila observed.

'Do what you can. I'll fetch a few others,' Suki said.

Most of the other Kyoshi Warriors were occupied elsewhere, rebuilding the village. Suki had wanted them highly visible, to show everyone that Kyoshi Island's self-proclaimed protectors were still there, undaunted by defeat; or by the Fire Nation. That's why she had them all in their traditional jade green uniform, though they'd passed over the make-up for practical reasons. The statue of Kyoshi still towered over the village, and in her more romantic moments Suki hoped that it would be like having a dozen Kyoshis among them, helping them; showing that while Kyoshi was gone, her example remained. She'd wanted to inspire the townsfolk. _These little girls…_

Nonetheless, she rounded up a handful of other Kyoshi Warriors, pulling them off non-essential tasks elsewhere. They trooped back to the market stall together, and began working. They worked in silence for the first few minutes, perhaps sensing Suki's dark mood.

Kaniko - a talkative and upbeat warrior, though Suki didn't doubt her dedication - broke the silence.

'Hey, where do you think the Avatar is now?'

'He's an Air monk, isn't he?' Maki put in. 'He probably went to the old Air temple.'

'I don't know, he didn't seem like much of a monk to me,' Kaniko said laughing. 'He was kind of a doofus.'

Suki glared at her and pointed at the Kyoshi statue. 'He is the Avatar, the reincarnation of Kyoshi herself, and he helped to save the entire village. You should speak more respectfully.'

'Oh, come on,' she pushed back. 'Remember that lame air rattle he made?'

That drew a few chuckles, and even Suki felt the corners of her lips rise.

'There, see, you can still smile,' Kaniko said, smirking.

'What are you talking about?' their leader said.

Ila answered this time. 'Suki, you've been moody ever since the Avatar left. Everyone's noticed.'

'It's just been one day,' Suki snapped. 'We're supposed to be defending this island. This village is only still here to be rebuilt is because of the Avatar. Of course I'm unhappy.'

'You heard what Oyaji said. We did great. We didn't win, but we're all okay with that. We'll come back stronger, you know that.' Maki's reassurance was earnest, but Suki still scowled. She knew that the Kyoshi Warriors hadn't done poorly, and she'd sooner face the Unagi alone and unarmed than blame one of her girls for the loss, but she couldn't help feeling powerless. If, for all their training, they'd not been enough… well, it was all right to feel angry about that, wasn't it? This was the first real battle the Kyoshi Warriors had been in, against a real outside invasion. It was as if the entire world had marched in and smashed a cocoon of complacency that had surrounded them. They had to be better. They had to do more. Surely it was right to think that, wasn't it?

'You know what I think?' Kaniko said after a few moments had passed. Suki kept her head down, concentrating on clearing the remains of the stall.

'I think,' she continued, 'that Suki is moody because that _boy_ left.'

That felt like a slap in the face, or ice cold water down the back of her uniform.

'What was his name?' Kaniko wondered. 'Sotta, or something?'

'His name was Sokka,' Suki said, avoiding eye contact. She got up to move a large piece of debris over to the growing pile.

'Yes, that was it,' pressed Kaniko. 'The one you gave 'private lessons'?'

'It wasn't like that!' Suki insisted, and wished that she was wearing their ceremonial make-up, the better to hide the reddening of her cheeks. 'He wanted to learn, that's all, and we don't turn people away if they sincerely want to learn our ways.'

'So that's why you sent us all out,' Maki said, getting in on the joke, 'and went and got him a full uniform.'

'Private tutoring is better,' Suki maintained. 'The uniform thing was a prank! You all laughed!' She looked around the circle, daring them to deny it. 'He was an idiot. If he would wear something he's so convinced is 'girly', it would prove he's serious about training.'

'I didn't get a uniform at first,' Ila said quietly. 'It was several weeks of training before you gave one to me.'

Suki groaned. 'They were still being made. Ashi hadn't finished them all yet,' she said, referring to the village tailor.

Kaniko laughed again. 'Just admit it already. The guy was kind of cute anyway, even if he was a jerk.'

Suki bit back an angry retort. Sokka wasn't a jerk; at least, she didn't think so. He had been a little stupid at first, but he'd apologised, hadn't he? You should respect someone who can admit their own mistakes. And for all his foolish boasting, he'd actually had a fair bit of talent as a warrior. She hadn't said it, but she'd been impressed, and she could tell that, as they'd trained more, he'd been genuinely impressed by their fighting style too. And he knew what she'd been trying to do with the Kyoshi Warriors. In private, he'd admitted that when he'd claimed to be the best warrior in his village, he was actually the only man in the village over six years old. She'd suspected something like that, but while she'd mocked the claim before, she couldn't laugh at his honesty.

It was… he was trying to live up to something, she thought. The real warriors of his village had left and he'd wanted to imitate them; even trying to show the kids the basics. It was like what she'd tried to do with the young people of her village; an attempt of which the proud results were now standing around giggling at their leader's discomfort. There was something about the attempt that she had to respect. He hadn't been willing to mention any details, but she'd gotten the impression the Fire Nation had attacked his village too, and he was still feeling the pain of it. Here she was, still feeling the pain of the Fire Nation's attack on her own village.

It was perfectly natural to like such a boy, wasn't it? They'd become friends. And maybe… ugh, why did she kiss him? What had come over her? It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time. She certainly hadn't intended anything like that beforehand, had she? But when he had to go, and they only had a few moments to say goodbye, it had just popped into her head. She hoped he didn't misinterpret what she'd meant by it.

What had she meant by it, anyway? For all that she'd just protested innocence, she had to admit, to herself if to no one else, that something in her stomach fluttered at the idea of seeing him again. And she really did hope they'd meet again.

'Look, Suki's starting to smile again,' Kaniko said playfully. 'Thinking of something nice?'

She groaned inwardly. Her feelings were just too confused about this. She could worry about Sokka later.

They worked for several more hours, stacking the debris and sorting out the materials they could re-use. Tired and sore though they all were, Suki insisted that they not skip on training.

* * *

They went through the first exercises and most of their forms smoothly. Suki always found that martial practice helped to calm her mind and work the tension out of her body. She could tell some of the other warriors were tired or would rather take the time to rest. She knew they were under pressure after the attack and the day's work, but wanted to reinforce the lessons of the attack, and keep their focus on combat. The stress of the battle was no excuse for skipping training; rather, it meant they had to increase their efforts.

Or so Suki reasoned, anyway. Regardless of ostensible reasons, she knew she had to work harder, and by throwing herself into the exercises she was able to subdue some of her concerns. _These little girls…_ next time, Zuko, these little girls will prove you wrong, she promised herself.

Suki was so wrapped up in her own forms that she paid minimal attention to the others, who went through them diligently but unenthusiastically. Then they came to sparring. Suki matched with Kaniko and then Airi. Kaniko fought well, if without much inspiration, and their match concluded evenly. Airi fought competently if a little sluggishly; Suki caught her out with a flurry of blows. The mock combat was doing her good, she thought. After brooding over their earlier failure and struggling with rebuilding all day, Suki was enjoying the chance to stretch out her muscles. No matter what else was happening, she didn't feel powerless in combat.

Then she went up against Maki. As soon as they nodded to each other to begin, Suki slipped forward, past Maki's guard, and knocked her off balance with a low kick. As she stumbled, Suki followed up with a few high strikes. Maki raised her hands, backing away, and Suki ducked in again, grappled her arm, and with a heave sent Maki flying. The other warrior hit the ground with a heavy thump and an audible crack. She tried to push herself up, wincing, but Maki collapsed.

With a shock of realisation, Suki dropped her guard and ran over to her. The other Kyoshi Warriors had ceased sparring as well, and joined them. Kneeling, Suki tried to see what had happened.

'Oh my… Maki, I am so sorry,' Suki said, words pouring out. 'I don't know what I was doing, I…' she trailed off. With the help of two other warriors, Maki levered herself up. Rina, another warrior, probed Maki's chest gently and opined that a rib was broken. Suki gaped.

Airi seized Suki's arm and dragged her outside. Suki, still a little numb, went along with her.

'What was that, Suki?' Airi demanded. 'What in the world do you're thinking you're doing?'

'I… I don't know,' she said hesitantly. 'I just… automatically…'

'We know you wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose,' Airi said firmly, 'but you just lost control. You've never lost control in a training session before. Look at you! You're shaking!'

Suki was surprised to find that she was. She couldn't hold her hand steady, and a cold feeling was washing its way down her spine.

'Maybe… maybe we all just need some rest,' she said, fully aware of how unconvincing it sounded.

'You need more than that. You need to come to terms with yesterday's battle. You need to move on. We trust you, but as our leader, you need to trust yourself. Go home, do what you need to do. I'll dismiss the others. We'll still be here tomorrow.'

* * *

Suki went home, changing in a daze and trying to get some rest, but found that she couldn't sleep. Why had she hurt Maki? Did she blame the other warriors, on some subconscious level? Argh, what was wrong with her? Suki didn't blame them. Did she blame herself? Was she trying too hard? Suki stared at her uniform, folded on the bench. The armbands were on top, with the gold pins sitting there neatly. The two circles seemed to be taunting her. _Courage and honour_, she'd told Sokka they stood for. She didn't feel very courageous or honourable right now. _These little girls…_

She needed to clear her head. She hoisted herself up and slipped outside. She wandered aimlessly, and looked at the sea. Soft splashes could be heard in the distance. The giant koi must be enjoying themselves. The moon was a waning crescent above, and Suki sighed looking at it. She pondered for a moment.

Suki wandered back inland. The shrine to Kyoshi was beyond the village, and had survived the attack perfectly intact; it was where she found herself led.

Oyaji was the spiritual leader of the village as well as its temporal leader, and he lived in a few rooms attached to the shrine. It hadn't always been that way, but it made it far easier for their leader to attend to the relics, and helped to deter would-be thieves. Suki knocked on his door. She heard a few heavy thumps inside, and a moment later Oyaji opened the door, in a crumpled blue robe he'd evidently just tossed on.

'Mm? Suki? What is it?' He rubbed his eyes blearily.

'…I need to go into the shrine,' Suki said, aware of how lame the request sounded.

'At this hour?'

'I know it sounds strange,' she ventured, 'but I… I don't know. Maybe things will make more sense once I look at Kyoshi's things again.'

Oyaji put on a sympathetic face. 'You're in turmoil. I told you, you have nothing to be ashamed of. But if it will give you some peace…'

Suki had the good grace to look self-conscious while Oyaji rummaged around for the key to the shrine.

'Kyoshi had many visitors today,' he remarked as he opened the door. 'The Avatar reminded people, and it does them to good to remember their protector after a disaster.'

Suki stepped inside. She normally felt at home inside Kyoshi's shrine, but tonight it felt alien, and even hostile. She told herself it was because it was night, but couldn't quite bring herself to believe that.

'It did the village good to see your girls out there as well,' Oyaji added. 'I am proud to see you carrying on Kyoshi's legacy.'

Suki thanked him, but her mind wasn't on his reassurances. Perhaps sensing her need to be alone, Oyaji, put down the candle and the key.

'Remember to lock the door again when you leave,' he told her. In her state, she barely noticed the trust he'd just shown; leaving a young girl alone with the island's most sacred items.

Suki took the candle and aimlessly examined the relics. The uniform she'd left in her own home was intended to replicate the style and colours of Kyoshi's _kimono_. Suki remembered bringing Ashi up here to examine it in detail and take measurements, while Oyaji looked over them strictly, lest they damage the precious garment. Their uniforms were much inferior; where Kyoshi's _kimono_ was elegantly cut and made entirely from silk. Suki had no idea how far away silk was imported from, but she knew it was expensive. Their uniforms had black silk armbands, which she'd insisted on for symbolic reasons, but the rest was hard-wearing linen. It was more practical, for a start. Silk stretched; it was amazing that Kyoshi fought in it without damaging the _kimono_. Right now, though, it just brought back the immense gulf between the Avatar herself and the warriors who imitated her.

Similar feelings came from Kyoshi's fans. They were an unconventional weapon. More than one villager had asked why the Kyoshi Warriors didn't simply use swords or spears, like other soldiers. A fan's biggest advantage was that it didn't look threatening. The fans were made of interlocking metal plates, of course, and could never be passed off as the affectations of some high society lady, but they still encouraged the opponent to underestimate their wielder. But had the fans really performed well in their first battle? They didn't have the reach to be effective against Fire Nation soldiers, who were mounted on komod-rhinos and wielded long spears. The Kyoshi Warriors did have a sword drill, but Suki had insisted on fans as primary weapons, for tradition's sake… even though Kyoshi herself had been a bender, and had not herself relied on her fans as primary weapons. Once again, it reminded Suki of the immense distance between her and the girls and the Avatar who inspired them.

Suki exhaled slowly, trying to calm her mind. These doubts did no one any good. She was too restless. She sat down, in front of the magnificent painting that took up an entire wall. _The Birth of Kyoshi_ was an acknowledged masterpiece, showing the Avatar herself guiding the people of the island to a new life, free from the tyranny of fear. It was as good a thing as any to dwell on. Suki tried to slow her breathing, hoping it would calm her. In and out. In and out. Don't worry about the Fire Nation. In and out. What would Kyoshi do in this situation? In and out. The Avatar's example had never steered her wrong before. In and out.

Kyoshi had saved the island. When some power-mad tyrant had threatened the balance of the world, she had stood between him and the people under her protection. It was to emulate her example that the Kyoshi Warriors had been formed, and that was what they had tried to do. And Kyoshi Island was saved, thanks to them and to the Avatar; the current Avatar, Aang, the Air Nomad boy. He'd seemed a fool at first, but when the island was threatened, he'd lived up to his past life's example.

Now, he was gone, on a quest to master the elements, so that he too could stand between the people of the world and a tyrant. She wished him all success; him, and his companions; the girl, Katara, and the boy…

They were doing the right thing. They were following the Avatar, to defend their people. She'd always intended the Kyoshi Warriors to defend their people and to follow the path laid down by the Avatar. For all that Aang had been foolish, and Katara catty, and Sokka, well, kind of stupid, they were following that mandate better than she herself was. Kyoshi Island would never be safe while the war still raged, no matter how elite its protectors.

Suki began to smile. She knew what they had to do.

* * *

'What? Fight in the war?' Rina didn't seem to believe it.

'Yes,' Suki said decisively, clenching her fist. 'I won't force any of you to do anything, but as soon as the village is back in order, I'm going to the mainland. What we saw two days ago was a warning. The war is real. My eyes are open to that now. We're ready to face it. I know we can make a difference.'

The sun shone down, brilliantly reflected in the waves behind them. Suki had brought out all of the Kyoshi Warriors to the promontory where _The Birth of Kyoshi_ had been painted. The mainland Earth Kingdom could be seen as a brown smudge on clear days, and this morning was as clear a day as Kyoshi Island had ever been blessed with.

'I agree,' Maki said brightly. 'We're good enough, and I always wanted to go to the mainland anyway.'

One by one the other Kyoshi Warriors offered their assent. Suki was touched, deeply, by their loyalty.

'I can't thank you all enough.' Suki tried and failed to stop her joy showing. It didn't matter. Why should she be afraid for the girls to know how proud she was of them?

'We'll spend several more days here, until the village is repaired and I can find a ship. I want all of you to be ready. Get all your gear. If any of you are unsure about what you'll need, come and talk to me. For now, I just want you all to be the best you can.'

'One question!' Kaniko waved her hand frantically, as if there was the slightest chance Suki could miss it.

'Are you just doing this because you want to see that boy again?'

'No,' Suki replied firmly. Then her expression softened. Why not?

'Well… not _just_ because I want to see him.'


End file.
